The 21st Century SAHM

“What are you afraid will happen if you stand up for something you believe in?”

Brave Girls: Raising Young Women with Passion and Purpose to Become Powerful Leaders by Stacey Radin, PsyD & Leslie Goldman, asks this question. Why are girls afraid of being powerful? Why is the word “feminist” a dirty word? Through her description of a program called Unleashed, in which middle school girls work as animal rights activists to help and protect dogs, the concepts of power and feminism are broken down. And by the end, these are no longer bad words.

A passionate feminist herself, author Stacey Radin fought her entire life to prove herself and to be seen beyond the lowered expectations placed upon her because she was a girl. From being chastised for punching back because “girls don’t punch”, to being told she was “smarter than she looked”, Stacey often found herself frustrated at girls’ and women’s lack of power. It was this drive that molded her into what she self-describes as “headstrong and feisty, challenging and very independent”—characteristics many find unbecoming of women and girls, but characteristics that are crucial if they want to be leaders.

Brave Girls tells the stories of young girls, ages 10-12, finding that they are powerful and are in control of their own lives. Why this age group? Because girls in middle school have so much potential and nowhere to go with it. Nobody seems to think girls of this age bracket have much to offer, as they are perceived to be immature, unfocused, and unable to handle true responsibility. Unleashed proves otherwise. In this time of push and pull—when girls are breaking away from their parents and want more independence, they are also desperately in need of community and acceptance. As a result, they tend to participate in cliques, even if being mistreated by their peers. Their fear of isolation, of not being part of the group, often silences them. Unleashed gives them their voice back.

Brave Girls describes the many ways Unleashed helps these girls grow into leaders. From public speaking, to advocating within their communities for better treatment of dogs, to working as teams to create fundraising events, girls from all races, ethnicities, and socio-economic backgrounds work alongside each other for the common good. By the end of the 12-week program, most of the girls (some of whom were shy at first and barely spoke a word) are now asking, what’s next? What’s the next issue I can tackle? How else can I change the world? And these girls are 10 and 11 years old. Imagine the women they’ll grow into in 10-20 years.

One key characteristic of leadership that Unleashed and Brave Girls focuses on is resiliency. Too often women are crippled by fear of failure or by experiencing failure. A leader does not get beaten down if something goes awry. A leader is not afraid of taking risks. Unleashed pushes the girls to go out in the community, ask for donations, ask for support, spread the word about their mission, and at times they must face disappointment. A project they designed didn’t go as planned, or an event they hosted was poorly attended. Unleashed is growing leaders, and leaders look at failure as an opportunity to analyze, make changes, and improve, rather than wallow in disappointment.

“Without a strong sense of self, girls will struggle to define who they are, repeatedly becoming stuck in conflict and self-doubt. They tend to conform and assimilate to cultural norms versus defying the status quo, and they are more inclined to tolerate unhappiness rather than to make a change. Lastly, they continue to experience an unhealthy relationship with power and control.”

Brave Girls also defines a leader as someone with self-awareness. She knows her strengths and utilizes them to advance her own directives as well as find the best place for herself on a team. A person with a strong sense of self will also find herself able to stand up to a bully and resist Bystander Syndrome, an epidemic plaguing our society. Furthermore, self-awareness also changes someone who might have the propensity to become a bully into someone who, instead, will fulfill a healthy, productive leadership role.

As the author states several times throughout Brave Girls, Unleashed is not about puppies. It is about empowering girls and helping them realize their potential to be leaders, to change the world. I would assert the same about Brave Girls. This book is about far more than middle school girls helping puppies. This is a book that speaks to women; it certainly spoke to me. I’ve always wondered where my feminist drive came from, and what I can do with this passion, which has intensified dramatically since becoming a mother to a little girl. While reading Brave Girls, I found myself circling, highlighting, underling, and writing YES! over and over in the margins. Stacey Radin spoke to my inner child—a girl who was often lost and confused and struggled to find her way, as so many girls do. And she speaks to the 35-year old mother of three, who still struggles to self-advocate. Who still self-deprecates. Who hesitates to refer to herself as a writer because maybe she hasn’t earned the title yet. I want to take 10-year old me and drop her into Unleashed and watch her flourish. Because that’s what Brave Girls is: it is a story of inspiration and empowerment and success—things we want all of our girls to feel for themselves.

Find Brave Girls: Raising Young Women with Passion and Purpose to Become Powerful Leaders by Stacey Radin, PsyD & Leslie Goldman on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble, and various other sources.

*I received compensation and an advanced copy of Brave Girls in return for writing this review. All statements  reflect my own opinion.*