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What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up?

The 21st Century SAHM

January 10, 2025

Eeeeeeek! I wrote a book. Like a whole big book with 30 chapters, a table of contents, and all the rest. And it’s available for pre-order now on Amazon, Bookshop, Barnes & Noble, and Target. So here are the deets:

In May of 2025, “What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? (And Other Thoughts from a 40-Something Mom)” will be released, published by Jossey-Bass of Wiley Publishing.

And here’s what the cover will look like.

So what is this book about? Who is it for? Well, you, actually.

If you’re a mom, this book is for you.

If you’re the default parent, this book is for you.

If you put your career on hold to raise your kids and are now wondering what TF you’re doing to do once they’ve flown off to their own nests, this book is for you.

If you still struggle with middle school bullsh*t like fitting in and making friends even though you’re a big old grownup, this book is for you.

If you’re sweating through your t-shirt when it’s 40 degrees outside and just discovered a rogue chin hair as the sunlight hit your reflection in the mirror this morning, this book is for you.

If motherhood has looked a lot different than you thought it would, this book is for you.

If you’re just generally pissed off a lot lately, this book is for you.

If you love your children fiercely and would run through fire for them but omg if they don’t put their shoes away you are going to light every croc, Nike Blazer, and Birkenstock sandal on fire, then yes, this book is for you.

“What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? (And Other Thoughts from a 40-Something Mom)” was equal parts cathartic and heart-wrenching for me to write, as I felt empowered but also very vulnerable telling some hard truths about motherhood, marriage, and perimenopause. But I’m glad I did.

I hope you read it. I hope you like it. And I hope it makes you laugh and feel less alone. That’s what I hope most of all.

Project Motherhood Parenting Masterclass—Am I a Parenting Expert Now?!

The 21st Century SAHM

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April 14, 2025

Friends, something exciting has happened. Allison Cooper (founder of Project Motherhood) asked me to join her panel of—get this—PARENTING EXPERTS (What?! Me?!) to speak on topics like motherhood and what I’m going to be when the kids grow up. I, of course, was humbled, honored, and said yes. And now I can share the entire 9-week Parenting Masterclass with you as registration is starting now. If you register for the masterclass, you’ll receive your first email on April 23rd at 9 am EST with the week 1 expert and so on each week. Once registered, you’ll also immediately receive a confirmation email.

Here are the details you’re going to love:

All of the sessions are online.
You can watch them at your own pace as they are all pre-recorded, not live.
They’re all FREE.

But most importantly, these sessions are chock full of parenting advice and tips on everything from raising babies to letting your big kids fly the coop. Whether you’re in the toddler trenches, parenting through the tumultuous teen years, or you’re navigating the heartbreak of letting go, there’s something here for you, so sign up today via this registration link!

Hope to see you there!

“Well, I like it.” (A Life Lesson For All Of Us)

The 21st Century SAHM

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April 4, 2025

My youngest just turned 12. And, because he’s a 6th grade boy, Youtube plays a highly influential role in his life (more than I’d like to admit). That means the top item on his birthday list was a sweatshirt designed by some famous gamer—likely someone who plays Fortnite, if I know my kid.

He sent me the link. Then he followed up—over and over for the weeks leading up to his birthday. “Do you think you might get me that sweatshirt? Have you ordered anything online lately? Have you decided on any birthday gifts yet?”

I kept him in suspense, even throughout his entire birthday, as we didn’t do presents until that evening when Dad got home.

But yes, there it was—the not-at-all-cheap sweatshirt he so desperately wanted. He couldn’t wait to wear it the next day.

Only when he got off the bus the following afternoon, he didn’t have his usual energy, and in fact, seemed a little down. Shoulders hunched. An unhappy face.

“Everything okay?” I asked him. “What did everyone think about your cool new sweatshirt?”

“Some kids made fun of it,” he replied.

I soon learned that not all of his friends feel the same about this gamer, and a bunch of kids teased him for wearing the sweatshirt. The same sweatshirt he’d been dreaming about for weeks.

“Okay, but do you like it?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“And what do we do or say when someone doesn’t like our hair or outfit or something else about us?”

“I say, ‘Well I like it!’ and that’s it,” he responded.

That’s it.

This is a big lesson in our house. We give ourselves permission to like what we like, as long as we’re not hurting anyone. If we want to have a unique haircut or wear an outfit that stands out or listen to music none of our friends listen to, we do it anyway because it makes us happy.

And the same goes for us, the parents. I have an entire chapter in my book about encouraging us, grown-a** women, to like what we like. I like Friends re-runs, crunchy snacks, and musicals. I listen to nerdy Podcasts everyday and read sad historical fiction that makes me cry. I wear makeup almost never, live in comfy clothes, and play Christmas music starting November 1. And I love, love, love Taylor Swift and know the entire Tortured Poets Department album by heart.

I do not care if anyone thinks the things I like are dumb or I’m too old or I should dress differently. And I don’t want my kids to care either.

My daughter just bought a dress for 8th grade graduation, which is coming up in a couple months. It’s a floor-length dress, and to use her words, “way too fancy for 8th grade graduation.”

But the minute she saw it, she knew. It was the one. “I don’t care if it’s too fancy. Or that no one else will wear something like this. I love it so much and I’ve never felt more beautiful in anything I’ve put on.”

Well there you go.

Like what you like. Even if you stand out. Especially if you stand out.

The end.

And, to circle back to my son, he’s worn that sweatshirt 10 times since. Because he loves it—as he should.

(This is not the sweatshirt in question—I don’t have a pic of it—but I love this picture. Sometimes my kids really actually love each other. 🥰)

**What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? (And Other Thoughts from a 40-Something Mom) is available for pre-order now via Amazon, Bookshop, Barnes & Noble, and Target.**

*This post contains affiliate links.*

What Does It Look Like When We’re “Living the Dream”?

The 21st Century SAHM

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March 28, 2025

When I was young, I dreamt of falling in love someday. And then one day, I did.

And when we were in college, we dreamt of having our own place someday and starting our lives together, as adults on our own. And then one day, we did. Our first apartment was tiny, and we furnished it with hand-me-downs and thrift store finds, but it was ours. Soon, though, I began dreaming of our wedding… and of a bigger place… and of new furniture from a real furniture store… and of having kids…

And then, one day, we moved into a bigger apartment. Two bedrooms and two bathrooms! And a pool! And we bought nicer stuff to fill it with. And we got married. And baby number 1 arrived.

The next dream? Owning our first home.

Eventually, it happened. We moved into our first house (not a second-floor apartment!) All of the bedrooms and bathrooms and garage and yard and attic and basement… it was all ours.

But soon, I began dreaming of more babies. And we grew out of that house, so I dreamt of a bigger house.

Two more babies came, but during those early years, I dreamt of a day when I’d sleep again. And when the diaper days were over and everyone used the potty. And when we could go places without lugging a stroller and 900 bags of snacks, cups, wipes, toys, and backup underwear.

Of course, that day came.

They’re teens and a tween now. We have a big house that fits everyone and their friends. But it’s already happened again—the dreams. Dreams of ripping up the old carpet and repainting the walls and renovating this dated space or replacing that old couch.

But also, I caught myself recently dreaming of what’s next after that too—a smaller place, less square footage to take care of, fewer floors to clean and surfaces to wipe.

Only that means the kids will be gone, and I don’t dream of that.

I have realized that throughout my life, I was “living the dream” so many times and probably didn’t see it. As soon as I fell in love, or had my first apartment, or had my first baby, or moved into my first home, the next dream began to form.

And while dreaming can be exciting and provide something hopeful to think about, I regret that I didn’t always stop to enjoy living in the moment more—appreciating that I was, already, living my dream each time.

Now that my kids are older and we’re talking about college and what comes next for them (and for me), I suddenly dream of freezing time. Of slowing down this ride so I have more days, weeks, months, years, of them here, in this big old house with our stained carpet and leaky windows.

Unfortunately, the ability to stop time is one dream I won’t fulfill. But at least I can recognize this little life I’m living—right now—for what it is.

I’m living all my dreams, and for that, I’m grateful. 🩷

**Pre-order What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? (And Other Thoughts from a 40-Something Mom) today via Amazon, Bookshop, Barnes & Noble, or Target.**

**This post contains affiliate links.