It has been 12 years since I officially bid farewell to my beloved East Coast and moved to the Midwest. I have birthed and raised all of my kids in what snooty East and West Coasters (myself included) often call fly-over states. They are the states that, before moving to one, I probably could not identify on a map without reeeeeally concentrating. So many of them are square. Which is Colorado and which is Wyoming? Is that Nebraska or Kansas? Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin are all jumbled up there with the lakes. Which is which?
But yep, I ended up here. And although I have truly enjoyed making a life in the Midwest, this East Coast girl had some adjusting to do upon arrival. One story in particular accents the differences I encountered in my new surroundings. It happened the first time I went grocery shopping…
I was unaware that people in the Midwest talk to each other. In the one hour that I spent shopping, someone asked if I “needed any help” or “was finding everything ok” no less than 11 times. And after I checked out and almost got matching tattoos with my new BFF (the cashier), the boy who bagged my groceries started walking away with my cart.
“Hey! I paid for all of that! What are you doing?”
“Helping you to your car, Miss.”
WHAT. IS. HAPPENING.
I politely scowled and said, “No thanks. I’m good,” and pushed my own cart to my car. In the parking lot, more bag-boys swarmed me, insisting on helping me with my groceries.
WTF??!! I felt very claustrophobic and overwhelmed with all of the human interaction experienced in the last hour and 10 minutes and called my mother on the way home.
“People kept talking to me at the grocery store!” I lamented in frustration.
Because here’s thing. I worked retail and was trained in what I’ll loosely call “customer service” throughout high school and college in the Northeast. Below is the training breakdown:
1. No need to approach or speak to customers unless they ask you a question.
2. If a customer does need assistance, an audible sigh of irritation is permissible before responding. Also, management does ask that you put down your Dunkin’ Donuts coffee first.
3. No need to physically walk customer to the aisle. A simple “aisle 5” is an acceptable response when she asks where shampoo is. Also, complete sentences are optional.
4. Eye contact is not required, or even recommended, really.
Hence my shock and confusion at all of the talking and niceness I was showered with at my first grocery store trip. And I began finding this social interaction everywhere I went. I found it awkward for a long time. But now that I am 12 years in, I have adjusted and have learned to enjoy the small talk of the Midwest. The cashiers at our local grocery store (and liquor store…) know my kids’ names. We took a selfie with one just the other day. True story.
Now before you East Coasters get your panties all bunched up in offense, let me say two things:
1. You know I speak truth.
2. I LOVED my childhood, and pride myself in being an East Coast girl. My husband coined the phrase “opening up a can of Connecticut on his ass” to describe my response when people piss me off. I OWN my bitchiness, and so should you.
But I am a Midwesterner now. Yeah, I miss fresh seafood. (Sorry Kansas. Love ya, but “flown in fresh” ain’t fresh. You got the good steaks and BBQ. That’s your thing.) I miss the ocean. I miss being able to get a direct flight anywhere at all. However, call them fly-over states all you want, this Midwest we have is not too shabby. We can see for miles. Smells from the next town over can waft by our doorstep. (So sometimes it’s cow manure, but whatever.) We can watch storms roll in. And we take selfies with the grocery store cashiers.
We call it home.
photo credit: pixabay.com
Loved your story! I had culture shock when I moved to the working-class suburbs (having previously lived in the rich-people’s suburbs) and everyone was so nice driving on the local roads, in the stores, and even with the courtesy of their kids (as in “mind your manners”)! I must say, however, it reminds me of growing up in San Francisco!
Thanks Lisa! It sounds strange to have to “adjust” to niceness, right?
This is so lovely! It’s definitely something we encounter in the UK as well, although being so small, it’s pronounced over a much smaller area. I have a good natter with the ladies on the checkout in my local supermarket here, whereas when I lived less than two hours away in London, they didn’t make eye contact!
Becca, I actually lived in York for a year in college and loved England! But yes, I do recall very little eye contact and personal interaction in the big city areas. And being an East Coaster at the time (this was before I moved to the Midwest), I really enjoyed that! Ha! Thanks for commenting!