Motherhood: It’s hard for all of us.
Good things Mommy did today:
1. Took kids to spend QT with Grandma and Grandpa
2. Went to the store (with kids) to buy items to donate to children in need in Guatemala
3. Worked out
4. Fed kids a healthy dinner
Yet, somehow, the day went to shit. It may have been due to the teething toddler who bites and hits anyone who does not present him with Cheetos or fruit snacks. It may be related to the children acting like monkeys on crack and running laps and wrestling at Walmart (see #2 above) while we were performing our good deed. It may have been due to Mommy staying up too late last night. It may be because she’s ovulating or PMSing or hormonally something. It’s probably a combination of all of the above.
But, yeah, a day chock-full of goodness went south pretty fast around dinnertime. So Mommy was a-drinkin’ before bath, and by the time the kids were climbing into bed, she was dooooooone. And when the 4-year old asked her to snuggle, Mommy lied. LIED. She said she had something to do, when really she went to her own room, drank her wine, and played on her phone. (The complete opposite of “having something to do.”) But Mommy just needed a fricking minute without a kid, after her day of goodness + exhaustion.
But after about 20 minutes, she felt horribly guilty. How could she have denied her precious 4-year old a bedtime snuggle? Put down your wine, Mommy and do better. So she crept into the 4-year old’s room, but of course, she was already asleep. So Mommy climbed into bed next to her and cried into her stuffed bunny and said she was sorry.
Damn, this motherhood thing is hard.
image credit: pixabay.com
Aww, Karen don’t be so hard on yourself. I have done the same and I don’t read to the little kids as much as I did with the bigs and I’m an awful, horrible rotten mom who is just doing her best even though my four-year-old keeps screwing up the alphabet that her older sister knew by age two…You are a good mother, I can tell. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have cried into the stuffed bunny.
Aw, thank you! I struggle with the same thing — when the littles don’t reach milestones as fast as the first one did.