The 21st Century SAHM

As Mothers Day 2015 approaches, I am reminded of a conversation I had with a colleague years ago, before I had kids. She was describing her ideal Mothers Day, and it did not involve her kids. Her request was to be ALONE and have them be… really anywhere else. WHAT? I was shocked and probably made a disgusted face, because what mother does not want to be with her kids on Mothers Day? I had spent every Mothers Day with my mom growing up, because obviously that’s what she wanted. I mean, I was amazing. Why would she want a break from me?

Fast-forward 7 years. Oh, how foolish was that girl with her judgy face. She is now a SAHM to 3 people, ages 6, 4, and 2. I love my little buggers and would run through fire for them without hesitation, but do I like my quiet days (or even an hour) without them? It’s like Christmas morning for a 5-year old. I get so excited that I often run in circles and don’t know what to play with first. The TV? The computer? My phone? A book? A pillow and blanket? A glass of wine?!

So I thought I would break down society’s “suggestions” for Mothers Day gifts vs. what moms really want (or at least this mom), as an informational guide for dads, kids, husbands, etc.

1. Suggestion: Breakfast in bed. Who the hell wants this?! There is no scenario in which this does NOT create a pile of extra work for Mommy. My kids would insist on something with syrup. And, again, they are 6, 4, and 2, and would fight over who got to “deliver” (meaning carry something dripping in syrup) to me, in bed. This is not a gift. (Also, I don’t eat breakfast. I drink coffee with 8 tablespooons of creamer.)

What to do instead: TAKE THEM OUT TO BREAKFAST. Just them, not me. Sneak out of the house. Leave a note. Return in several hours. (And extra points if you perk the coffee before you leave.)

2. Suggestion: Flowers. My husband will buy me flowers this year. He does every year, for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines Day, and Mothers Day. And they are beautiful and so thoughtful. And he has a direct account with 1-800-Flowers, so there’s that. But they die, or the vase gets knocked over by the 2-year old Tyrannosaurus Rex we live with, or they get moved out of the way to make room for the construction of a Lego village or a tea party with 17 stuffed animal guests.

What to buy instead: Wine and food. Seriously. Yeah, they don’t last forever either, but Mommy will be a much happier lady. Promise.

3. Suggestion: Plan a fun day out with the whole family. No. Mommy wants to go to the zoo on May 10 like she wants a colonoscopy. You’ll have more success leaving her alone and letting her do laundry in peace.

What to do instead: Refer to points made in #1. Plan a fun day out, yes. Just you and the kids. Go visit the polar bears and giraffes. Send her one picture.

4. Suggestion: $5.25 Hallmark card. Not necessary and waste of 5 bucks.

What to do instead: Homemade keepsakes. I am a sucker for this stuff (and I am pretty cheap). So dig out some construction paper and crayons, and let the kids go crazy. Extra tears from me if there is a hand-print or foot-print so I can look back in 10 years and snivel, “Look how tiny they were. This was when they liked me.”

5. Suggestion: New clothes and shoes for Mommy

What to do instead: I got nothing. Yes please.

 

Happy Mothers Day mommies!

 

image credit: pixabay.com