This is on us, girls. This whole phenomenon of building up Hollywood dads and putting them on pedestals while tearing down other women. It's US. And it needs to stop.If you follow Hollywood news at all, you’ll know that the latest trend is to bow and kiss the feet of any father who does anything remotely fatherly. Like give his kid a cracker. Or tie a shoe. The world explodes with love and praise for this latest father-of-the-year, he graces the cover of Time Magazine, and women spontaneously become pregnant by sheer miracle as they gaze upon his face. This has happened to Hollywood dads like Chris Hemsworth, Ryan Gosling, John Legend… etc.

Like many moms who have pushed writhing babies out of their lady bits after 24 hours of food-less labor, I am annoyed at the fanfare that results when a Hollywood hottie daddy basically doesn’t drop his kid on its head. But honestly, I blame us. That’s right, fellow moms. This is bullshit, but it’s our fault.

Because guess who actually gives a flying fuck about Ryan Gosling / Reynolds (either one — same point works here) and his diaper changing skills? WOMEN. Guess who probably doesn’t know the difference between these two actors? MEN. Continue Reading

My mother was physically present for every event of my life until I left for England. And during this first time of having to truly let me go, she was also saying goodbye to her own mother.My mother was always present, literally and figuratively. She was like a floating head—every time my sister and I turned around, she was there. She was in all of our business—snooping through our rooms—finding things she didn’t want to find, but that’s a story for another day. She was room mother, a volunteer in our school, and chauffeur to us and all of the other neighborhood kids. She chaperoned field trips and fed the softball team after games. She was everywhere we were.

It was this need to be present in all facets of our lives that made my decision to study abroad in England for my junior year in college so painful for my mother. At the time, being a naive and self-absorbed 20-year-old, I never considered how hard this was going to be for her. I was scared for me. This was my big journey. I never saw it from her eyes, from her heart.

This was a woman who had been there for every single event throughout my entire 20 years of existence, and I was leaving—going to another continent, where her presence would be absent. She would not move me in to my dorm room, as she had Continue Reading

The white response to #blacklivesmatter is #alllivesmatter. Well, that's easy to say when you're white. Because you've been made to feel like you matter your entire life.The older I get, the more I see what is painfully obvious: Our nation remains burdened by the plague of racism. And yet, while I find this fact to be indisputable, so many disagree. For every fellow American who nods along with me and laments our pathetic state of racial disparities, there seem to be more who say otherwise. They are the white Americans who are “tired of hearing about it” because “slavery was hundreds of years ago” and “not their fault,” so everyone should “get over it.” They complain about Affirmative Action and the NAACP and Black History Month because “Enough already! What more do these people want?”

Now we have #blacklivesmatter as the recent movement among the black community. And the white world is more annoyed than ever. Because #alllivesmatter, right? Well, obviously. But therein lies the point. If you are white, your life already DOES matter. I am white. My life already matters to the world. My children’s lives matter. Can a black person say that and believe it?

Laci Peterson. JonBenet Ramsey. Madeleine McCann. Jaycee Dugard. Elizabeth Smart. What do these names have in common? They are names of white girls and women who have gone missing, some never found. Do you know of any black girls Continue Reading