This is what transgender looks like to me. This person was kind and joyful and not a predator. And the bathroom he used had no bearing on the kind of person he was.

This is not a post about bathrooms. Or about laws being passed to regulate who uses which one.

This is a post humanity. Every human being walking down the street, visiting your local restaurants, working alongside you at your place of employment, passing you in a car, is just that—a human being. And it appears that basic civil rights are still not granted to all human beings in our society, for a reason that is quite obvious. It’s because like people of color, people with disabilities, gay people, and anyone remotely different from what many consider “the norm”, people who are transgender are the newest crop of humanity deemed undeserving of basic human rights.

The sad truth is, small-minded people are scared. It’s because of memes like this, which perpetuate the idiotic, uneducated, bigoted perception that people who are transgender are inherently child predators. And this assumption is absurd and unfounded and born out of fear and lack of education about that which is different.

Would I let my kids be alone with the person pictured in this internet meme? No. This person is a stranger to us. But I don’t automatically assume this person is a child predator. Or a rapist. I do think that maybe (s)he grew tired of the world judging him/her and refusing to allow him/her a safe place to be, so (s)he said fuck it and started dressing like this. Or maybe (s)he never tried at all to conform, knowing (s)he’d never be welcomed. Can you blame him/her? With the state of this nation in 20-freaking-16? But to automatically assume (s)he’s going to harm my family? Because (s)he dresses like this? That’s what makes this person a sexual offender?

Is this what a predator looks like?

I don’t know this person, or the state of his/her mental health. But just for comparison’s sake, this is what a predator looks like. (You’ll have to click the link because I’m sure as hell not putting his picture in this post.) Remember this guy? Doesn’t he Continue Reading

Prepare for multiple outfit changes. And shoe changes. And hair style changes. It only takes 25 simple steps to get a 5-year-old girl ready for... anything at all.If you have a little girl, were once a little girl, or know a little girl in any capacity, you might be familiar with my streamlined 25-step plan of getting her ready to… well, do anything at all.

  1. Announce that you’ll be doing something the next day. The event can be going to the mailbox or flying to Disney World. Doesn’t matter.
  2. Suggest she choose her outfit then, the night before.
  3. Allow 3.5 hours for outfit choosing.
  4. Understand that she’ll request the flowy Elsa shirt. (NOT the white one with glittery Elsa. The other white one. The FLOWY one.)
  5. Search house for said Elsa shirt. Find it in dryer. Breathe sigh of relief.
  6. Watch child lay entire outfit on her floor, as if a body were there, complete with headband at top and bracelets where a wrist would be. Try not to shudder at the creepiness.
  7. Put child to bed.
  8. In the morning, wake her up and ask her to get dressed.
  9. Prepare yourself for an entire outfit change, as her mind somehow will have recreated the perfect outfit for the day in her sleep.
  10. Begin searching for newly requested glittery Elsa shirt and purple leggings. (Light purple. Not those. Need the ones with lace at the ankle.)
  11. Locate Elsa shirt and leggings. Beg her to get dressed.
  12. Accept her sadness that the headband now does not match and a new hairstyle is imminent.
  13. In an attempt at maintaining your fleeting sanity, agree that this outfit requires a braid and no headband. (A fishtail. Because obviously, Mom.)
  14. Do your best forming her 11 strands of hair into a suitable braid.
  15. Sigh with relief that she is finally dressed.
  16. Attempt to leave house. Ask her where her shoes are.
  17. Realize what you’ve done and whisper, “Idiot!” to yourself, as she heads upstairs for her favorite boots.
  18. Wait 39 minutes.
  19. Watch her re-emerge in an entirely new outfit because “those boots didn’t match.”
  20. See that her braid is a mess, as a result of the outfit change. Say nothing and pray.
  21. Hear her ask if she can “quickly grab a purse?” and say yes, hoping this means she won’t notice her hair.
  22. Reheat and drink an entire cup of coffee while she loads a purse with 27 shopkins.
  23. Greet her with joy as she reappears, proudly stating she is “ready to go!”
  24. Watch her scoot into the bathroom for a final check, at which point she screams in horror at the state of her fishtail braid.
  25. Cry.

Very simple. Easy to follow. You’re welcome.

Every mom has insecurities—about herself and her kids. And if she compares them or herself to others, those insecurities grow. The truth is, we all have secret struggles. Don’t compare your kids to other kids. 

Don’t compare your house to other people’s houses.

Don’t compare yourself to other mothers.

We’ve all heard it. We know we shouldn’t do it. But we do it anyway. Why isn’t my kid reading at your kid’s level? Your kid is already potty-trained? Mine refuses to even try. My kid can’t catch a ball, and yours looks like a superstar on the field. What am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with my kid? 

These are the comparisons we all make. These are the questions we all ask. But here’s the truth.

The kid who can’t read yet may be the best hitter on the team.

The best hitter on the team may struggle with math.

The kid who struggles with math may be an artistic genius.

The artsy kid may be dyslexic.

The kid who is dyslexic may spend her free time volunteering at an animal shelter.

The kid who volunteers may have no real friends at school.

The kid with no friends at school may be musically talented.

The musician may still wear pull-ups to bed at 8 years old.

The kid who still wears pull-ups to bed at 8 years old may be the most well-behaved in class.

The most well-behaved kid may only eat 3 things and cry hysterically when pushed to try new foods.

The kid who only eats 3 things may be gifted. Continue Reading