The 21st Century SAHM

Motherhood: When Accepting Help Feels Like Failure

December 4, 2015

I’m 7 years in to this parenting gig. I’ve grown, birthed, and nursed three fat babies. I’ve lived through having a 2-year old pee on the rug while I was nursing the newborn (many, many times). I’ve sent one off to kindergarten. I’ve flown on planes with them and endured several road trips (per year) with all three.

So when my friends are just starting out, they often turn to me for advice. They ask questions about pregnancy, nursing, diaper rash… They ask about managing time and energy and patience once #2 comes along… and then #3. They ask for tricks to get through the longest of weeks—weeks when Daddy is out of town and Mommy is on her own.

And although I’m happy and honored to listen and respond with the best suggestions I have in my arsenal, the truth is, I’m a fraud. I might be somewhat of a veteran mother to my friends who are just starting out, but it is only years that makes me higher on the ranking scale. It isn’t ability. Or success. Because, quite, honestly, I am still failing. I am still drowning. And I don’t know what the EFF I’m doing, even now—7 years in. Continue Reading

Can We All Pledge to Not Raise Douche-Bags?

The 21st Century SAHM

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December 1, 2015

Let me preface this post by stating how much I loathe the word douche-bag. This is not a word I use in conversation, pretty much ever. (Also, I have 3 small creatures trying to climb back into my uterus 29.5 hours a day, so there aren’t many opportunities to drop “d-bag” into a sentence.)

My point is, my utter distaste for this word made it necessary for me to put it into the title. Because I believe this is an epidemic in today’s society, as we are raising a generation of douche-bags. Having 2 sons myself, I am very concerned that my boys may befriend future douche-bags, or worse, become douche-bags themselves. (This fear is intensified because we live in suburbia, where douche-baggery runs rampant.)

Therefore, let’s start our “How to not raise a douche-bag” tutorial with defining what, exactly, a douche-bag is, using examples.

1. Men in sports cars who weave in and out of traffic on the interstate and almost clip the bumpers of mini-vans that probably have kids in them = douche-bags. (Extra points of douche-baggery for flipping mom/mini-van driver off and/or taking up two parking spaces.) Continue Reading

7 Things Only People With Dry Skin Understand

The 21st Century SAHM

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November 27, 2015

November is the worst month of the year. It is the month that brings the realization of what’s in store for us, oh sufferers of dry skin, for the next… well, eternity (really four months). That is not to say that we scaly-skinned sisters do not suffer in the summers months, because we do. But there is some reprieve. Then, our dry skin may only bother us periodically throughout the day, as opposed to 24 hours a day, particularly at 3 a.m., as it does throughout January. In the summer, 25% of our budget is not devoted to soothing our suffering with products that don’t work anyway. In July, it’s more like 10%.

So although we love the holiday season, with the tree trimming, and Christmas carols, and excessive eating of pie, we also have to take a deep breath and walk into the winter months with our game faces on. It ain’t gonna be pretty.

But we’ll itch and scratch our way through it, despite suffering this list of 7 things only people with dry skin understand.

1. There is no product out there that truly helps. Oh, you have an amazing organic Tunisian salve made from papaya root and cat tears? Yeah, we’ve tried it. Didn’t work. Continue Reading