The 21st Century SAHM

A stranger in the grocery store parking lot

January 22, 2015

We teach our kids about stranger danger. But we also teach our kids about generosity and helping others. Well, what happens when a stranger offers to help you, and you are with your kids?

I was shopping with 2 of my 3 kids last week. I approached the bus I drive around town (my 8-passenger mini-van that rivals my first apartment in square footage) with my shopping cart. Kid #1: loaded in. As I was loading kid #2, I heard a man’s voice.

“Are all of your groceries going into your trunk?”
Um….. “Yes.”
“Okay. Let me help you out.”

This man, this stranger, proceeded to unload my items into the back of my van while I continued to strap my youngest child into his car seat. I was not sure what was happening. I was not sure what to do. Was this a kind man, who saw a mom, out in the freezing cold, with 2 kids and cart full of groceries, and just wanted to help? Or was he a thief about to steal our food? Or was this a crazed lunatic about to climb into my van and carjack us all?

In the end, it was guy #1. He loaded my groceries and shut my trunk. As he was walking away with my cart, I said, “Thank you, Sir.”

He replied, “You’re welcome. I remember years ago when my kids were young. I remember how hard it can be.”

I felt terrible for thinking he COULD be anyone but guy #1. BUT my babies are with me. It is my job to protect them and to protect myself. I am saddened by the truths of our world that caused me to be anything but appreciative. Because before I was appreciative, for about 30 seconds, I was afraid. Was I irresponsible for letting a stranger get so close to my kids? What message did I just send them? Is it okay to let strangers help us? What if I had said, “No thank you” to the kind man? Or worse, “Get away from my car!” What impact would that have had on my 4 and 1-year old?

It truly was just a thoughtful man helping another parent on a cold day. I drove away from the store, thankful for his kindness. Thankful that my kids saw kindness. And hopeful that anytime they see a “stranger”, in the future, he will be kind as well.

How Those Naked Pictures of Mommy Really Got in to Her Phone

The 21st Century SAHM

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January 13, 2015

FYI:

If you give your 1-year old your phone to entertain him while you steal that 8-minute shower you truly deserve, make no mistake: he WILL take naked pictures of you through the glass shower doors. 18 of them in fact. You will not know this because during that 8 minutes, he was not screaming, climbing into the sink or toilet, or throwing anything at you. So you, honestly, did not know (or care) what he was doing with your phone. Delete my apps? Whatever. Call Daddy at work? Sure.

Fast forward two days later. You will attempt (in vain) to entertain that same 1-year old through an hour-long gymnastics class for your daughter. The books you brought are of no value to him, and he tore through the snack in 45 seconds. So… there are 48 minutes left. Fine, here’s my phone, you’ll say.

He will pull up some of the stunning shots he took of you 2 days prior and proceed to show them to your 6-year old son who is sitting several rows away in the bleachers. Your 6-year old son will then shout (for all the other parents to hear), “Mom! There are like a bunch of naked pictures of you in your phone.”

So now you know what will happen if you take a mid-day shower with your toddler in the room and let him have your phone. You’ve been warned.

image credit: pixabay.com

To the Allergy Moms

The 21st Century SAHM

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November 19, 2014

I have a confession. I have judged (silently and not-so-silently) other moms. And one group that I am particularly ashamed to say I have judged are the allergy moms. You know these moms: their kids are allergic to normal stuff. (Sometimes it is scary, like peanuts. I never judged those moms — that peanut allergy thing is terrifying). But the “my kid is allergic to wheat” mom, or the “my kid is gluten-free” mom, or the “my kid is allergic to raspberries” mom… I have often found myself wondering if you were a bit hyper about your kid and maybe he’s really fine? Until now.

Because karma has come along and given me a big ol’ bite on the booty. My adorably fat, dimple-faced 1-year old is allergic… to lots of stuff. He has broken out in terrifying hives, his face has blown up, and his eyes have swollen shut in reaction to: wiping his face with a paper towel, feeding him foods with cow’s milk, feeding him raspberries, blackberries, pasta sauce, Goldfish crackers… the list goes on. And he is allergic to grass. If he plays in the grass, he breaks out in horrible welts and spikes a fever. And all of these reactions usually spawn eczema patches that he scratches relentlessly. So now I am “that” mom, asking what ingredients are in foods, putting my kid in pants when it is 102 degrees outside, having Benadryl in my car at all times.

I never thought I would be an allergy mom. We try to eat healthy, but I’ll be honest. A year ago, I was NOT on the anti-processed food bandwagon. I have eaten either Cheezits or Doritos or one of their first cousins every single day of my life as far as I know. I love my coffee creamer. My kids eat (gasp!) fruit snacks. (And not organic ones. They eat the Ninja Turtle and Hello Kitty ones.) But we do eat lots of fruits and veggies and healthy proteins, I promise. I don’t totally suck at feeding my kids good stuff. I make my own mac-and-cheese and my own chicken nuggets (to which my kids adoringly respond by saying, “Did you make the yummy kind out of the box or that other kind? And I respond, “No, I did not make the kind out of the box that takes 5 minutes. I made the homemade kind that takes 45 minutes of Mommy’s time. But thanks for the love, kids.”)

But now I am an allergy mom. And I am coming at you, fellow allergy moms, with my tail between my legs, and I am saying that I am so sorry. I had no idea. I had no idea how sick your kids could get if they ate stuff they aren’t supposed to. I also had no idea how much extra work you put in to keeping them healthy.

So, I am asking you, non-allergy moms, who may be inclined to judge unfairly (as I did), to think first. Think about how easy it would be for that mom to give her kid the pasta or sandwich or orange or pizza or whatever normal food it is that he can’t have. And guess what else? She probably has other kids who CAN have that stuff. So she has to either say no to all of her kids or, as is the case in my house (since my son cannot tolerate dairy), he has to watch while the other kids have something he can’t. And he’s 1. So he’s totally rational and understanding and easy to communicate with. Or the big kids have to eat in another room or at another time. Or Mommy breaks and lets him have the thing he isn’t supposed to have because he is soooo upset, and then we all deal with the effects: hives, eczema flare-ups, and/or vomit.

Fellow allergy moms, I’m so sorry. Can I still get in your circle? I’ll bring some dairy-free dip and homemade oatmeal bars.
And hey, 3rd kid! You’re supposed to be the low-maintenance one. WTF?

Karma.