The 21st Century SAHM

Hey Gucci Mom, Don’t Tell Me I’m Lucky to be a SAHM

November 1, 2016

I’m a stay-at-home mom by choice. Although it was not nearly the smooth transition that I had thought it would be, I am very aware of how fortunate I am. I know that not every mother is afforded this option.

However, I also know a lot of moms do have this choice. Many choose to work—and kick ass at it. Some of them are the best moms I know. But they have chosen to be working moms as I have chosen to stay at home.

I recently had an encounter with a mom—a working mom—at an event with my kids. I know this mom, and you might know her, too, as you can see her from a mile away with a 7.5 carat rock on her finger. You also probably know where she lives, as it is hard to miss her 6-bedroom house and Lexus parked out front. I am not trying insult the wealthy here, as I know many hard working, well-off folks who don’t belittle me. This woman is not one of them. Continue Reading

9YO’s Tragic Suicide Reinforces the Importance of Teaching Kids About Bullying Prevention

The 21st Century SAHM

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October 25, 2016

A family in Soak Creek, West Virginia has endured the ultimate heartbreak. Jackson Grubb, a third-grader, took his own life on September 10. Third grade. Let that sink in. In his fourth year of elementary school, this boy made the decision to hang himself in his own home rather than face another day of pain. At nine years old.

When you think of nine-year-old boys, what do you think of? My son is about to turn eight, so I have some idea of what boys around this age are like. Minecraft, Legos, baseball, soccer, football. And probably more Minecraft. I think of long gangly legs, running shorts, feet that seem to grow a size every day, and messy hair. I think of endless snacking, wrestling, and stinky socks.

I do not think of suicide when I think of a nine-year-old boy. Do you? Probably not.

What possibly could have led this boy, a boy who should be riding bikes after school and thinking about his next Halloween costume, to do such a drastic thing? To make such an adult decision? To create a noose and willingly hang his small body from it, ending his short life? Continue Reading

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (A Book Review)

The 21st Century SAHM

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October 21, 2016

In a sea of books that fall within the “parenthood humor” category, this one stands out. This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things is the perfect title for a book about the chaos, the exhaustion, and the beauty of parenthood. Written from dad’s perspective, Clint Edwards truly has been on both sides of the fence—he’s been the breadwinner, gone all day, wondering why in the hell his wife let the house (and herself at times) go. Then he was the stay-at-home parent. And he said, “Ohhh. I get it now.”

It’s all in here—financial struggles, jealousy over his kids liking their mom more than him, and the ugly truth of how kids can rip a marriage apart if it’s not nurtured. But the best part of Clint’s book is that he confesses to messing up. A LOT. But he sees it. Owns it. And learns from it. I don’t know any perfect parents, but I do know a lot who pretend to be. And who judge those of us who are far from it. So it’s joyously refreshing to read about another parent screwing up. Because shit if parenthood isn’t hard. And full of screw-ups. But it’s far less lonely when you know others are in your same boat.

One of my favorite essays is the title essay: “This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.” It is about ridiculously disgusting things we all do as parents—things that 20-somethings without kids (how we used to be) are appalled to hear. Things like Continue Reading