When your kid looks like this every second of his life…
My husband and I have a some couple-friends who do not have kids. And we have 3. And they are small and loud. This past weekend, wonderfully kind friends of ours invited us (ALL of us) over to their kid-less house to watch some baseball on Sunday afternoon.
Here is the list of us vs. them:
Us: cul-de-sac in boring old suburbs
Them: adorable house in quaint part of town within walking distance to boutique shops and sushi bars
Us: 3 kids under 5 years old
Them: 1 tiny dog
Us: kid-destroyed house with pee stains on furniture and year-old Cheerios in the couch cushions
Them: designer area rugs and imported South American artwork
So we decide to take them up on their invitation and head over to their house with the monsters. What to bring… Well, I have broken down the list of items into the categories below.
Entertainment
For 4-year old son: Kindle Fire for video games and space books so he can educate us on the phases of the moon during commericals
For 2-year old daughter: All of her princesses and their dresses (=6 princesses and 6 princess dresses) as well as all 4 of her Minnie Mouses and all of their dresses and accessories (each Minnie has 2 dresses, 2 bows and 1 pair of shoes = 4 Minnie Mouses, 8 dresses, 8 bows, 4 pairs of shoes)
For 8-month old: drooly toys, drooly books, and blanket to drool on.
Food
Knowing our trendy friends will probably serve something like delicious kale-beet salad (to which my kids will make their “WTF is this??” face), we also bring:
For big kids: Sandwiches to eat in the car, as well as fruit snacks and Nutri Grain bars
For baby: Cheerios and fruit cup, baby spoon and bib
For all kids: Cups with lids. Kid-less grown ups will only own glasses (like non-plastic actual breakable glass cups in which a beverage is served). For my kids? Hell no.
Clothing and diapers
3 pairs of extra pants and underwear for our 2-year old who is still potty training. (Please, please, please do NOT pee on their hand-woven rug made by Tibetan monks.)
diapers and wipes for baby
Pad on which to change baby (not be changed on Tibetan monk rug)
Nap
If we would like to stay anywhere for more than 11 minutes these days, we will need to put our 8-month old down for nap. So we also bring the pack & play and pack & play sheet. Also in this category: pacifier and back up pacifier.
Mommy’s job: prepare all of the above.
Daddy’s job: buy beer.
image credit: pixabay.com
Thought it was hard enough with 2 lol. I find it more stressful when people without kids come to us.
http://wp.me/p6bQZl-28
Yes, that can be tough too. Most of our friends without kids do seem to like kids, which is necessary because my kids will climb all over them, whether they like it or not!
We as parents can try and prepare for all eventualities but kids will always get the better of us. They do keep us on our toes. #Wineandboobs
That is one hell of a list…. but I want to know what happened??? Was anything destroyed?
No, thankfully! We pounced on them the minute they moved. They terrorized the dog a bit though, so he was pretty happy when we left.
Wow, a lot of thought needs to go into this. The entertainment for the two year old made me laugh, so many dolls! My little boy has just turned two and loves his cars and helicopters! 🙂 #wineandboobs
Oh my gosh – this had me laughing so much!! I have 3 kids. Our friends with no kids would have no clue what they were in for if they invited us all over! 🙂 I love the description of your child-ravaged furniture too. You have just described my life although we’d be packing more transformer robots than Barbies right now. LOL. Found your post on #wineandboobs
Thanks Unfiltered Mama! Life with 3 certainly isn’t boring!
Loved this post, especially the mom vs. dad part. SO TRUE! Lol #wineandboobs
Thank you! I love your name by the way!
LOVE this! I was meeting with some childless friends from work, who very kindly were coming to a shopping centre near me, and I asked them if they could meet us (me, the 8mth baby and the 2yr old) at an M&S Cafe for brunch so the 2yr old could stare out of the glass window and give me approximately 30 seconds to feed the baby. They were HORRIFIED, but bless them, they did agree to it. Great post x
Thanks! Love your name. I love all of those things! It is so great to have friends who are understanding!
^^^^ All the reasons why we do not have friends without kids. Or they stopped inviting us. Or they come to our destroyed home.
Come to think of it…. No one contacts us anymore.
Hmmm….
Ha!!!! Yeah, we haven’t been invited in a while…