A cute bunny. Which is better than a picture of a vagina.
Does anyone else struggle with teaching the v-word to your kids? You know, the vajajay? Hoohoo? Ladybits?
So Parenting 101 says to use correct terminology for private parts. And penis is a no-brainer. It is easy to say in casual conversation and is socially acceptable. When a parent shouts, “Don’t touch your penis!” to a 3-year old at the park, it’s adorable. And everyone has a chuckle. Yet, “Get your finger out of your vagina!” doesn’t get quite the same reaction. Parents will look at you in horror. What is wrong with your daughter? Why is she a freak?
Why are we such hypocrites to our little girls? Because I am, for sure, one of the horrified parents at the park who thinks crotch-grabbing girl really is a freak.
I can vividly recall the first time the word vagina was introduced to my kids. I was 0% ready. My 3-year old son was in the bath with his baby sister. He had not paid much attention to her anatomy (or really any other part of her) as babies are boring to most 3-year old boys. But one day in the bath, he asked very pointedly, “Where’s her penis?”
Crap! I thought I had more time! She was only 9 months old. I had assumed (foolishly) that she would be the first to force my teaching of this awkwardness. But no, it was Captain All-of-a-Sudden-Curious who did.
“She doesn’t have a penis. She’s a girl.”
Okay, that will do it.
Nope.
“Where did her penis go?”
“She never had a penis. She is a girl. Only boys have penises.”
Good? Done?
Nope.
“How does she go pee?”
Okay, I guess it’s time.
“Boys have penises. Girls have va….. ginas.” I spit the word out with slightly more than a whisper. (Hey kid from Kindergarten Cop! I could so use your help right now.)
Whisper, my son did not. “THEY HAVE WHAT??!!”
“Vaginas.”
The next 3 hours (not kidding) were spent in detailed vagina-analysis. Why do they have them? What do they look like? Can I see hers? (NO!) Do all girls have vaginas? Does Mommy have a vagina? Does Grandma? Does my friend Allison? Does Dora the Explorer have a vagina?…
Fast-forward a few years. That baby girl is now 4 1/2 and has asked questions about her own body. For fairness, we have established the same private-part ground rules for both kids. Nobody touches your private parts. You don’t touch anyone else’s private parts. You are only allowed to touch your own private parts when you are alone. (Not at school, at a friend’s house, or at the zoo, for example.) So yes, because little girl crotch-grabbing isn’t allowed in most social circles, this means the 6-year old can’t play with his balls while watching baseball on the couch (even if Daddy does it). Fair is fair, kids.
We do, however, now have another 2-year old little boy who is quite fond of his southern appendage. And yeah, it is still adorable and completely socially acceptable. Damn double standards.
image credit: pixabay.com
You are so right. Why is this word so hard??? And I TOTALLY think of that line in Kindergarten Cop every time!
No idea! Especially since I HAVE ONE! This should be less awkward.
I use the word with my kids but I absolutely hate saying it out loud when not talking to my kids. What is it about that word? It just sounds so unpleasant. Couldn’t we have a prettier word for it at least??
I know! I have no idea why it is awkward, especially since I’ve had one for 35 years now!
Haha, I suppose at least the conversation started at home. I once heard a little boy asking his mum similar questions in a the cubicle next door in a public bathroom.
#wineandboobs
Oh I’ve been there too! “Mommy, why is your vagina brown?” (in a public restroom). Good times.
The Mother says – I have been crying with laughter at this post and totally agree with you. I love your style of writing – right up my street. I have a confession. I backed out of the v-word and called it a front bottom. That also made for an interesting conversation!!!! Fab post 🙂 #wineandboobs
HAHAHA! A front bottom. Hilarious. Thanks for commenting!
I find htis fascinating. I’m a SAHD with two daughters and I have no issue with the v word at all. My wife struggles with such discussions but I just get on with it. Such messages are also reinforced in the British school system where kids get lessons about anatomy and sex and realtionships from the age of foiur (yes really). #WineandBoobs
John, I envy your ease with saying it! Your daughters will benefit from you being so comfortable. I am getting there! Thanks for commenting.
It is awkward, right? At the playground one of my friends realized that her daughter had forgotten to put panties on after going potty, so she whisked her home to get some on. The little girl was upset when she got back, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I had forgotten panties too, and it was a good thing I had jeans on or there would be nothing between the cement I was sitting on and my butt. My daughter chimed in with her outside voice, “Yeah, Mom your butt, AND your hairy vagina!”
#wineandboobs
Hahaha Lizzie Lau! Your comemnt made my day. Hilarious.
I have 2 girls and can so relate to this. I too have read before to teach your child the proper words for their anatomy so from day one I have told them they have a vagina ….I don’t make it seem bad or “different” (they also have a brothers) and explain often that daddy,and big brothers have penises and that they have vaginas and now we are starting to talk about the fact that no one should touch them there and vice versa. But kids are kids and are just fascinated with their parts cause I catch them with their hands in their pants and I don’t want them to feel like it’s some kind of mortal sin to be down there but I don’t want them being “the freaky girl at the park” either. Man this parenting shit sucks sometimes #wineandboobs
Thanks for commenting, Trista! No one wants the freaky girl at the park, but we all want our kids to have healthy knowledge of their parts… tricky business, this parenting gig.
I am right there with you…right there. I wish this topic were easier. Funny post!!!
Thanks. I hoped I wasn’t alone in this!